We skipped the light fandango
Turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kind of seasick
But the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
As the ceiling flew away
How's it going?
Had your lunch yet?
I heard these two kids in a restaurant yesterday.
One said, "What's chocolate pudding?"
The other said, "It's good. It's a lot like chocolate mousse."
Why do I get this feeling I'm not seeing any work today?
There's nothin' to see. It's "The Emperor's New Clothes." I'm gonna get slaughtered, man.
- Yeah, well, let me see what you got. I'm sure it's a lot-- -Just trust me on this. It's shit.
I'm in here, all I want to do is lay down. I'm takin' a dive.
Well, if you can't work, at least you can eat. Come out with me.
I can't. I have to pick up my assistant at the airport.
I don't know why she can't take a cab like everybody else.
- But, you know-- - Whatever.
So, uh, when would think would be a good time for me to come back?
The show's in three weeks, you know.
Oh, Lionel, Lionel, you go through this before every show.
I'm talking 20 years of this!
Now get to know yourself a little better!
You can pull it off, Lionel. You always do!
And so it was
That later
As the miller told his tale
That her face at first just ghostly
Turned a whiter shade of pale
Shit!
- Hi. - What are you doing here?
I thought I'd pick you up so you don't have to hassle with cabs.
- Didn't you get my message? - What?
I left it on the machine. I said I'm not coming back.
What do you mean, you're not comin' back? You're right here. I'd call that comin' back.
- You should listen to your machine now and then. - "Listen to your machine"?
Doesn't that have a horrifying ring to it, that expression, to listen to your machine?
Look, I-- I didn't go to Florida with a girlfriend like I told you.
Oh, yeah?
I went with somebody else.
A guy?
- So? So what? Who's the guy? Did he come off the plane with you? - Why? You want to give him a lift home?
Well, I'd be lyin' if I said I wasn't curious to see what kind of man rings your bell.
- Look, he's not here. - What do you mean, he's not here? What'd he do? Take a goddam Greyhound?
We had a fight. He left me. I spent most of the time down there by myself, okay?
- He left me, okay? - He left you?
He left you? Who is he?
I mean, who in their right mind would leave you? Who is this guy?
I know him, right?
Gregory Stark.
That kid? The comedian?
- A performance artist. - Performance artist.
What the hell is a performance artist? A person's an actor, a singer, a dancer.
I mean, do you call the guy that picks up your garbage a sanitary engineer?
A performance artist. And he left you?
- Now, you see through that, right? - I don't care. It's over.
That's all.
Look, I'm moving out.
That's what "I'm not coming back" means.
Where you gonna go?
What can you afford?
You gonna move into a dormitory?
You don't want to sleep with me any more? Hey, I'm a big boy.
You don't have to go out on the street. You had a fling. Big deal.
Welcome to the world. I mean, we're still employer and employee, right?
I'm leaving New York. I wanna go home.
Ah, yeah, well...
that's a whole 'nother ball o' wax.
You want to split? Fine. Come back, pack up and go.
Ifyou drag it out, I'll die. You know that.
Come on. Let's get it over with.
She said there is no reason
And the truth is plain to see
But I wandered through my playing cards
And would not let her be
One of 16 vestal virgins
Who were leaving for the coast
And although my eyes were open
They might just as well have been closed
And so it was
That later
- You know, I can't believe I've never noticed that in here. -Jesus!
Has this always been in here?
Incredibly handsome kid. Beautiful boy.
I can understand the attraction.
Did you ever see him perform?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
How in the hell can you let somebody like that drive you out of New York?
-I thought you had more spine than that. -He's just some guy.
He's not driving me out.
It's not him.
- It's me? - It's nobody. It's things.
- Things? What things? - Don't you reason with me!
What about your painting? Huh?
You gonna make a little studio in your parents' garage...
with rusty hedge clippers hanging on a nail...
and pool stuff laying in the corner...
and a broken sled and mice?
You work for Lionel Dobie.
You work for the lion, baby.
You stretch canvases. You run a few errands.
You got your own room, studio, life lessons that are priceless...
plus a salary.
And if you act now, you'll also receive a handsome sterling service for 24.
Look, I'm not kidding. This kills me, you leaving.
It's a suicide.
This is a time and a place.
At your age, you're right in the heart ofthe heart, Paulette.
I swear, you walk now, you'll curse yourself the rest of your days.
I don't have to sleep with you any more?
Baby, I'm your ally against horse dung and fraud.
That's as far as it goes from now on.
We skipped the light fandango
Turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kind of seasick
- But the crowd called out for more - God!
- The room was humming harder - Ow! Lionel, for God's sakes!
Sorry.
As the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
The waiter brought a tray
And so it was
That later
Is the music too loud?
- Uh-uh. -As the miller told his tale
- You should get some sleep. - That her face at first just ghostly - I'm working on it.
Turneda whiter shade of pale
You're gonna sleep like that, you should shut this.
Otherwise, come 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning, you'll be freezing.
Sorry.
Can I, uh, get you anything?
- Soup? - "Soup"?
Who are you talking to?
I don't care.
He's driving me crazy.
Hey there, now, baby
Get into my big black car
Hey now, baby
Get into my big black car
I wanna just show you
What my politics are
- Don't you knock? - I did. I thought you said, "Come in."
I'm sorry, I-- I think I left my sable brush in here.
- Did you see it? - What are you doing?
- I could've sworn that I left it-- - I'm not sleeping with you. You promised.
What?
Jesus, you know what? This is crazy. I just had this impulse.
I wanted to kiss your foot.
- You're nuts. - No, no, no. I'm just working too hard.
I'm just getting weird. I'm under a lot of pressure, you know.
Phillip's is hanging over my head every day. "The show's in three weeks.
Show's in three weeks. Show's in three weeks."
Like a goddam mockingbird in my ear!
I just wanted to kiss your foot.
I'm sorry. It's nothin' personal.
You want me to get you anything?
That her face at first just ghostly
Turned a whiter shade of pale
So...
do you love me?
Love you? I said I did, yes.
What would you do if I left?
What would I do?
I'd go up on the roof and howl like a gut-shot dog.
Well, I don't love you.
So what?
- Need me - Night and day
- Oh, need me - Night and day
- Oh, baby - Night and day
- Take my hand - Night and day
- Don't need - Night and day
- No other man - Night and day
- I said, baby - Night and day
- Baby - Night and day
- Whoa, baby, now - Night and day
- Oh, come on, baby - Night and day
- You know I want you by my side - Night and day
- I want you to keep - Night and day
- Oh, keep me satisfied, now - Night and day
- I say the night time, now - Night and day
- Whoa, Lord, is the right time - Night and day
- Yeah, look at the one you love now - Night and day
Well, it's so nice
It's amazing how much more interesting it's getting.
- What do you mean, "interesting"? - It's not boring.
You know, you got a nice little irony working for you.
- Irony? - Yeah. Nice irony.
- How's the tension? Last time-- - It's nice.
- Nice? - Yeah, nice.
-You're full of shit, you know that? -You know, you're the only person in the world who could say that to me and live.
Look, could you just tell me if you think I'm any good? How 'bout that?
Just tell me if-if-if...
I have any talent or if you think I'm wasting my time.
Because sometimes I feel I should just quit.
Because--
Just tell me what you think. Come on.
What the hell difference does it matter what I think?
It's yours.
I mean, you make art because you have to.
'Cause you got no choice. It's not about talent.
It's about no choice but to do it.
Now, are you any good? Well, you're 22, so who knows?
Who cares? You wanna to give it up?
You give it up, you weren't a real artist to begin with.
Christ's sake.
"You give it up, you weren't a real artist to begin with."
What a stupid thing to say. Stupid!
Hi, Ma.
Not so good.
I'm not.
I can't.
I want to go back to school.
I don't know.
Can I come home for a little while?
No.
I just hate it here.
- Now how does it feel - Hey, Lionel.
- Lionel! - How does it feel
Turn the music down!
- To be without a home - Lionel.
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Just like a rollingstone
Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
They're all drinkin ' thinkin' that they got it made
Exchanging all precious gifts and things
But you'd better take your diamondring down
And pawn it, babe
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls ya Ya can't refuse
When you ain't got nothin' you got nothin' to lose
You're invisible You got no secrets
To conceal
How does it feel
To be without a home
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Just like a rolling stone
I appreciate you coming with me tonight. I hate these things with a passion.
You know this guy Wagner, the party giver...
he's in real estate, right?
Uh, he come down to my studio one time.
He puts his arm around my shoulder and he says...
"Lionel, do you understand the importance of Jackson Pollock?"
Then he points out all the condos and loft co-op conversions out the window...
and he says, "If it wasn't for Jackson, none of this would be happening."
Jackson, right? His old pal.
His pal.
You know, I haven't had any knock-around friends since 1968.
I've associates, admirers, detractors...
ex-wives, rivals--
- I have lots of friends. - That's a very mean thing to say to me.
You have a string in your hair.
You see right through me, don't you?
I was in the army. Army intelligence.
You see, they had me draw Russian couples screwing.
See, they figured this way, come the next war...
they'd drop thousands of these drawings behind enemy lines with the message...
"Hey, Ivan, while you're out here fightin' democracy...
ol' Boris is back home doing your wife."
- How could you tell the couples were Russians? - Oh, I had 'em wearin' fur hats.
I mean, what's the difference? The next war was Vietnam anyhow.
- Paulette what? -Just Paulette.
So, what's it like to live with the big man?
-I don't live with him. I work for him. -She's an artist in her own right, right?
- Ah, Pete, this is Paulette. - Paulette what?
-Just Paulette. - Oh, yeah, you live with Lionel Dobie.
- She works for him. She's an artist. - Yeah, I think it goes back, like, to the Incas and the Aztecs, right? - Really? Do you have visiting...
- in your studio? - Don't you feel that? - Uh, well, um--
I, I, uh, collect mainly '50s stuff--
uh, Rothko, Kline, you know.
- But I like to keep an ear to the rail. - Excuse me a second.
Oh, I-I don't have anything in the studio right now. I--
- Do you have a show up somewhere? - Uh, no, I-- I'm sort of in between galleries.
- Where did you show? - Excuse me. Um, may I speak to you a moment?
I'll bring her right back, gentlemen. I promise.
I got real good at it, all these different sexual positions...
and the expressions of ecstasy, and the--
This captain gave me a hundred bucks for a set of six.
Said it was an anniversary present for his wife.
It's the first stuff I ever sold.
- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. Are you an artist? - Yes.
Guys who were in my unit who were in combat used to say...
"Any day above ground's a good day."
Do you think that's true?
-Who's that short kid with the earring? -Oh, the ladykiller? That's Reuben Toro.
He shows at Bendix. He's not bad. Nice kid too.
- Hey, excuse me. Can I talk to you? - Mr Lionel Dobie.
- You know, you, sir, are like my Willie Mays. It's a pleasure... - Thank you. Can I talk to you?
- Excuse me. - ...to meet you.
- What? - Shut up. Now, look now.
I-I don't know how to say this. I mean, I'm not your shepherd or anything.
- But people are laughin' at ya out there. - Why?
Well, you know that greasy-haired kid you're dancing with?
Well, he's here to score and split. I mean, he does this everywhere he's invited.
He likes to find some innocent kid, and then he preys upon them.
I mean-- I mean, hey, you're a free agent. It's your life.
But I'm tellin' ya, if that low-rent hound does anything to hurt you or humiliate you, I'll--
I thought you were gonna tell me that they were laughing at me because of my work.
Well, this is kinda worse, don't you think?
No. No, no, no, no. Let me go out first. You stay in here a minute.
Because if people see us go out together, then their minds make these leaps, you know.
- So stay here. - Creep! - Lionel, there you are.
Lionel, I want you to meet Kurt Bloom. He just bought the Rommel Gallery in Berlin.
Lionel Dobie. Lionel Dobie, nice to see you.
- Open the door! - It is a great pleasure for me. - Open!
- Is there a problem there? - Lionel! - No, just a couple of kids.
- Oh. - Uh, Rommel Gallery?
- Yes, Rommel Gallery in Berlin. - West Berlin?
- West Berlin, yes. - Yes. Nice. - Lionel!
- Kurt Bloom? - Kurt Bloom, yes.
- I hate you! - I'm really admiring your work.
- It's very great to see you here. - Lionel!
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear George
Happy birthday to you
Conquistador, there is no time
I must pay my respect
And though I came to jeer at you
I leave now with regret
And as the gloom begins to fall
I see there is no, only all
And though you came with sword held high
You did not conquer, only die
And though I hoped for something to find
I can see no maze to unwind
And though I hoped for something to find
I can see no maze to unwind
Oh, man, could I get a cup of that? I'm dead and buried.
Are you a graffiti artist, Toro?
No, I wouldn't say that.
It's for the Japan House tonight.
Listen, I'm sorry what I said to you at the party.
I-- I just get crazy.
It's beautiful.
Look, I can't go with you tonight. I made other plans.
- Oh, yeah? - I'm going to the Blind Alley with some girlfriends.
Oh, yeah? Who's, uh, at the Blind Alley?
I just want to show him that I don't give a damn any more, you know?
I can go see him, see his stuff-- his stuff, like anybody else.
Does that sound like total horseshit, or what?
No, absolutely not. I think, uh-- I think we should.
I think we should show him that life goes on, that he's not even worth avoiding.
I-- I think you have to go right up in his face tonight.
- I mean, right up in his face. - I think I'd rather work.
No, don't use work as an excuse. Your work's sacred.
- Yeah, well, maybe yours is. - No, yours too. Yours too.
Now, look, you go with your girlfriends, you go with them...
that's like a bunch of high school girls with a crush on some boy.
But if y-you walk in with me, you make an entrance with firepower, with dignity.
- What about Japan House? - Now, first comes our house.
I don't know. I think-- I think you should go right up in his face.
See, I don't look for trouble. I mean, but some people do, right?
You know, they-- they, like, walk around, you know? They-They-They--They're, like, lookin' for a-- for a fight.
Like, okay, I had this one guy one time. He's walkin' down the street, and he steps on my foot.
All right, it was an accident. He didn't mean it, right? But he doesn't say anything.
You know, so I said, "Excuse me." Yeah?
He turns around, he says, "Yeah, what?"
So okay, never mind. Forget about it. Wha-- I mea-- Am I--
Am I supposed to get into a fight with the guy because he steps on my foot?
All right. What if I-- What if I do fight with the guy...
and I get lucky and I kill him?
All right? Then, uh, the cops come by and they say, "Well, how come you killed this guy?"
I say, "Well-- Well, he, uh, stepped on my foot."
They're gonna think I overreacted.
See, I don't know what it is. I woke up today. I mean, I wake up every day.
Today-- Today, I woke up and, uh, I felt-- I felt really strange.
You know? I mean, really weird, because I wasn't depressed.
I wasn't sad. I wasn't angry.
On the other hand, I mean, I wasn't happy or good-natured.
I just sort offelt...
I-I-I don't know, kind of even.
Don't get me wrong, okay? I'm not content. I hate that.
You know, when you say to somebody, "Well, how are you?" and they go, "Well, I'm content."
I feel like saying, "Yeah, what would you be if I smacked ya?" You know?
I'd rather feel one way or the other.
But today, I-I-I just felt even.
And, uh, I don't like it.
- Sex kick - Ah! Lionel Dobie. - Sex kick
- Yeah, wow. - I know what you're thinking I know what you're wanting
Sex kick, sex kick Sex kick, sex kick
Se-- Oww
Hey, hey
Hey
- Go over and talk to him. - No, I changed my mind. I'm tired.
- I just wanna go home. - No, no, no, no, no, no. Just go on over and talk to him.
Just tell him you liked the show. I mean, now's the time.
Yeah.
- Gregory, hi. - Hey, Paulette.
- Listen, I-- I just wanted to tell you, you know, it was just-- wow. - Greg, hi. Excuse me.
- Peter! God. - Yeah, we just missed the show.
- You know, traffic. - Aw, man. - But I have a friend here.
- I'd like you to meet Hank. - How you doin'? - Hey. - Love your stuff.
- Creep. - Paulette, don't worry about it. The guy is a jerk.
- Did you see Lionel Dobie? - Where? Is he here?
He's right there. He's got a blue shirt on.
- Hey! You feel better, right? - Why'd you make me do that?
- He's a bastard! - Look, you're the bastard!
I didn't want to do that. Why'd you make me do that?
Me? I love you. I'll do anything for you.
You want me to go back in that tunnel and pull him out by his hair? Just say it!
Listen, you don't want to sleep with me or let me touch ya, I'll live with that.
I will live with that, because I love you. But you just tell me what you want me to do. I'll do it.
I'll-I'll kill him in front of everybody! What? Just say it!
- Stop it! Stop! You're such a fool! - No-- Listen to me.
Listen to me. Listen to me.
I love you.
I'll do anything for you.
I'll stretch canvas for you.
Do you love me?
I said I did, yes.
You'd do anything for me?
What? Just name it.
See them?
Kiss the driver on the mouth. Then we'll talk.
What?
Come on. Show me how much you love me.
- What if I do, huh? - Then I'll know your love is true.
And if you don't, your name is King Bullshit, and I pack.
Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Check out Grizzly Adams here.
Has he got anything?
I don't think so.
Just looks like he lost his llama.
What's up?
Hey. Hey-Hey, oh-ho-ho-ho. Back away from the car, pal.
You better back away from the car.
Why do I get these all the time?
I love you too. Come on. Take a walk, will ya?
Is that for me?
Is what for you?
You walk around like that in front of me...
what's to stop me from losing control, from just taking you?
Taking me?
I could do anything. You know why?
Because I'm nothin' to you, so who cares?
I could rape you. I could kill you.
- I could kill myself. - Or rape yourself even.
I could do anything, because I'm nothing. I'm the invisible man with you.
Night.
Anything. Anything.
- Hey, hear Heidi got a show? - Her own show?
- Well, it's a group show. - Where?
In El Paso. Is that Donald Dowd?
Yep.
- You see his show? - I saw it with you.
Yeah, I-- Sorry.
Boy, I'm glad I make such a strong impression.
Shit!
- Great. - I heard he won some arts grant.
- Yeah, from his parents. - Yeah!
- Hey. - Hey.
- How you doing? - I'm great. How are you?
- Good. - Good.
Oh, you know, I'm uh-- Got this new piece running over at the Blind Alley.
- You should come see it. - She did see it, you self-absorbed, no-talent son of a bitch!
- Shut up, Lionel. - What's your problem, man?
Who in the hell told you you were a human being? What the hell do you know about the human heart?
- You don't even know her. You don't even see her. - Lionel! - Right.
- What was she just she, just some piece of ass to you? - Okay, stop it! - Shut your mouth, man!
Honey, don't do that.
Hey! What are you doing? What are you doing?
Are you punishing me?
Punishing you?
Listen, uh-- I got carried away. I'm sorry.
- I-I love you. - Look, my brother's driving in to pick me up.
He'll be here in two hours. Stay out of my face till then!
Wha-- Who-- Wai-- What're you doing?
I'm going home. Stay out of my face!
Home? This is New York. It's here for you. I'll-I'll do anything for you.
All right, to hell with me. To hell with me, okay? What about your painting?
Tell me what's here. Don't give me the shit about "real artists have no choice."
What's here? Am I good? Will I ever be good?
Come on. Right now! Come on!
I'm going home.
You're young yet. I love you.
Love me? You just need me around to--
Sometimes I feel like a human sacrifice. I don't know.
Maybe if I was as good as you, I wouldn't care about anybody else either.
But I'm not, so goodbye.
So I'm the monster, right? Well, just what's so hell great about you?
- I don't know. Nothing. - You know, you gotta start learnin' to like yourself a little more.
- Yeah, okay. I'll try. - But, see, you don't think I love you, because you don't love yourself.
I'll keep that in mind.
Okay, look, maybe it's me. It's-- No, it's me.
You know, I indulge. I indulge in love.
I indulge in making my stuff, and they feed off each other, you know?
And they come together at times, but this-- this is bad.
This is selfish. So maybe I--
I-I should try and be a nice person for ya.
Maybe the key to that is to try and stop.
You know, just, uh, sh-- stop painting.
And, uh, maybe I sh-- Yeah, and I should stop-- stop painting and just be a nice person for you.
Now, is-- is that what you want me to do? Huh?
I don't give a damn what you do. My brother's a United States Marine, and I can't take this any more!
Get out of here. Get outta here!
I can't take this any more!
Get out of my room!
Your room? I own the damn building!
A complete unknown
Just like a rolling stone
You've gone to the finest school Allright, Miss Lonely
- But you know you only used to get juiced in it - You know something?
If just once you came by my room and said, "Gee, Paulette, you're a terrible painter.
- Why don't you get a job and enjoy it?" - Let me tell you something.
You think I just use people, just grind 'em up.
Well, you don't know anything about me.
You don't know how involved I get or how far down I go.
Hell, I was married four times since before you were even born.
- So don't you tell me! - He's not sellin' an yalibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
-And says to you would you like to - So don't tell me.
Make a deal
How does it feel
- To be without a home - Chippies.
You know why they call 'em that? Because they like to chip away at you, man.
Take a little chip. That's your art form. That's your talent.
Just like a rolling stone
Oh, God.
Excuse me, Mr Dobie, uh, I-I just wanna tell ya, man, like, I'm kinda like an artist myself.
When I look at your stuff, I just wanna divorce my wife.
- I mean, like, thank you. - Thank you. - Thank you.
- Can I have a white wine, please? - Sure.
- There you go. - Thank you.
- What was that? - I wanted to touch you for good luck.
- For me? - No, for me.
Maybe some of it'll rub off, um--
Are you an artist?
You're an artist. I'm a painter.
I mean, I'm trying to--
- I'm not saying this right. - Listen, are you making ends meet?
Um, it's an expensive city.
Oh, it's the only city.
What's Fowler pay you? Peanuts, right?
Yeah.
I need an assistant. I pay room and board, give life lessons that are priceless, plus a salary.
You wouldn't know anybody who needs a job, would ya?
Oh, God!
- What's your name? I'm Lionel Dobie. - Hi.
We skipped the light fandango
Did you know that flute playing was once banned by law?
Once upon a time it was.
It was banned because it was so beautiful...
that all the virgins fell in love and got themselves seduced.
My father told me that story. He's Claudio Montez...
and he's the greatest flute player in the world.
My mother is Charlotte Montez...
and she's usually travelling in India or somewhere...
taking photographs or maybe writing a book.
Her beautiful face was the first sight I ever saw.
When I was born, Claudio used to play the baby music for me...
on his silver flute.
It was the first sound I ever heard.
They named me Zoe, because Zoe means "life" in Greek.
Zoe, considerher
Zoe, deliverher
She's so offbeat
So bitter sweet
Zoe, consider her
Zoe, deliver her
Life would be nothing without her
She's got that something about her
Makes me weak
Zoe, consider her
Since Claudio and Charlotte are rarely home...
I live alone in the Sherry Netherlands Hotel...
where the old ladies in the elevator wear too much perfume.
Hector is our family butler and my guardian angel.
He takes care of me when my parents are travelling...
which is most of the time.
- I'm not in. - Good morning, Miss Montez!
Come on. Get up. You don't wanna be late for school again.
- Hi, Vegas. - Smell that hot chocolate.
Come on. It's just like you like it-- sugar and Sweet'N Low.
- One and one. - Yeah. Don't wanna go to school.
- I don't feel good. - You don't what?
You know, maybe you have the flu. It's going around.
Let me-- Ooh! I burned my hand!
Quick, get the salve. Ooh, please help! Please!
Tell you what. We'll look at your horoscope, okay?
See what that says about going to school.
"Miss Zoe Montez, Aries.
Have a nice continental breakfast...
then get up real quick and get dressed for school.
Don't dilly-dally."
What's that mean, "dilly-dally"?
It means you made it up.
How 'bout you wear this today? This is nice.
My father gets the most unusual mail. Brooklyn Academy of Music--
- Yes or no? Wanna wear this? - No.
- No? -Julio Iglesias tickets?
How 'bout this? You could put this on real quick.
- Mm, okay. - Okay.
You know, maybe you should open the rest ofthe mail...
when you get home from school tonight.
You'll have more time then.
Hmm, the minister of Sharez is having a big bash.
- Sharez. Do you know where is? - Mm, no.
We could look it up in the atlas tonight. But now you can't be late.
- You know what your mother said. - Oh, my mother. Her life is always such a mess.
And before you know it, she tries to organize mine long-distance.
- Listen, you're gonna miss the bus again. You know what time-- - It's not right.
- Look, it's 8:06, 8:07. - It's just not fair.
- Right in that area. Hurry. - Hot to trot.
Hey, you see? Your favourite. Look, farm fresh.
And it's done just like you like it.
Seven-and-a-half minutes.
I put a little salt on it, no pepper.
Okay, now, chew it 20 times like I showed you.
One-- Oh. Okay, just yolk?
I'll give you some of the white stuff later.
Remember her trying to teach me about my credit cards and my damn bank balance?
Watch your language. Don't say "bank balance."
Once I was in debt, I was in debt so much...
that with all the deductions she took out of my allowance...
I didn't even have enough money to pay for taxis.
Thanks, Hector.Just don't let my mom long-distance harass you.
Whatever's right. Whatever's right.
- Oh, good. Thanks, Vegas. - The bus is leaving. It does not wait.
- It'll wait! - Don't miss the B-U-S! - Don't worry. Calm down.
Go, Zoe, go!
Hustle, Zoe.
Good morning, Mr Lilly. What's new?
I suppose you want cash, Zoe.
I was just saying hello.
Please, a twenty, two tens, a five and five singles.
Charge it to my account, please. Just in case I miss my bus.
And they're off! Oh!
Here comes Zoe, running tired. Running tired.
Zoe's gonna be late for school again. She's gonna be late, folks.
She's running slow. She's running tired.
She's not gonna make it! Come on, Zoe. Run. Run, Zoe!
Shit!
Cab, cab, cab, cab! Taxi!
- You know, I have yet to see you be on time. - Thanks for your concern.
- Who is that? - Oh, that's the new kid. - Oh, that's the new boy.
- New boy? - Oh, my Lord, look! - That's a very, very nice suit.
Look at that thing on that guy's head.
It's a turban. Haven't you ever seen one before?
Let's get an interview with that new boy!
Yeah! Andrea Melcher says he's one of the richest boys in the world.
- Oh, my God. - Andrea said that? - She knows him already?
- She works fast. - The richest boy.
- Excuse me. - Zoe, how are we gonna get an interview with him?
- He has bodyguards. - Yeah. - Big bodyguards.
Rich people like to be in the press.
Yeah, but what are you gonna say to him?
We have champagne and caviar, baby.
I show you my new BMW and my red Ferarri.
We make beautiful music together.
He's got a silver Maserati with a 24-hour-a-day driver.
- Can you believe that? - My Maseratigoes 185
Girls. Girls, girls. Now, we need to get back to work.
- Sorry, Mrs Mendez. - We have a magazine to put out.
- Who has his number? How can we get his number? - Andrea.
- Andrea'sjust like-- - Andrea!
- Are you talking to me? - Can we have Abu's phone number?
He'll be on the cover of Dingbat News.
I enjoy taking long walks.
He enjoys long walks.
I get really bored with spending money.
Bored spending money.
I intend to inherit my father's wealth...
and after that, create many times more...
so that I will be the richest man in the world...
by the time I am 24.
Lately, people have been offering me drugs, but I am not interested.
- I can satisfy myself with a chocolate bar. - Really?
I like going to parties. Sometimes the Hewitt girls...
- invite me to their parties... - Thank you. - at the Carlyle or the Concorde.
Last year, I was a straight guy. I was very preppy--
into computers, video games and a dirt bike.
- Now, I am into clothes and music and art. - Wow.
This is the Dingbat News, not People magazine.
Well, we are supposed to wear socks, but I do not.
Oh, good. Doesn't wear socks.
I have talked to Morgan Fairchild on the telephone for an hour in my room.
Oh, I suppose you see right through me, popular girls like you.
- See through you? - Yes. Right through me, I think.
- Why? - I have no friends, hardly.
Not any kids of my own age.
But I have plenty of adult friends...
but they're easy to get when you're rich.
- No friends at all? - Not one.
- Really? - Gee, that's too bad. - Abu, I was a very lonely kid.
I used to travel with my father, so I had no friends.
You? No friends? Really?
Then my mom told me the story of the bunny rabbit.
"Bunny rabbit"? What is bunny rabbit?
Once upon a time there was a bunny rabbit, a lonely one.
He had no friends at all.
So his mother put him in his backyard with all his toys and carrots...
and vegetables and said, "You play here with all your stuff."
- And what do you think happened? - What happened?
Soon, lots of bunny rabbits were peeking over the fence, saying...
"Can I play too?"
My mom told me that story.
Whenever I'm lonely and have no friends...
I just have a lot of fun by myself.
And people always peek over the fence and say, "Can we play too?"
I see. So be it.
Can I play too?
- Let's go shopping. - Okay.
Thank you, Abu. I had a wonderful time.
- So have I. - But it's extremely late.
- Will you be in trouble? - I don't think so. Bye-bye!
I'm sorry. We don't have a "Carter" on here.
Right here. Come on. Pull it.
- Come on. Move! Hey! - Hey, I'm cool, buddy. I'm not a real security guard.
- I'm just an out-of-work actor tryin' to pay the rent. - Quiet! Quiet, fat man.
- We do this all the time. - Leave me alone! Jimmy, please! - Now you got something to tell your grandchildren.
-Don't hurt her! -Lie down there. On your hands! Come on!
It's all right. Come on. Do what they say. It's a robbery.
- Quiet! And don't look! - I'm scared. - Be still and don't look at them.
Stay here and don't look. Don't look!
- Keep your eyes down. - I don't want to. - Shut up, kid!
- Comfy? - Leave her alone. Kick me. Don't kick her.
What do you have there?
- Pop it, pop it. Come on! - Hey, that's my father's. Number 77!
- Clam up, kid, or I'll make ya howl! - They've got his security box!
I was gonna inherit his cuff links someday.
- Will you keep quiet? - Zoe, this is serious. Look at my eye.
- I've got an audition tomorrow. -Just the big stuff.
- Blot that out with a little Chanel Soft Bisque number three. - Really?
- Hey, how you kids doin' there, huh? You need anything? - All right.
- You comfy? - Yeah. - No. - You want anything? A blanket?
Uh, how about a lobster roll, or, uh, maybe a club sandwich?
How would you like that? Ask me. Anything you want. You just ask me. I'm your man, okay?
Come on, fellas. Let's go! Move it! Come on! Let's go.
Don't make any fuss for a while. We might be right back.
Good for you. Big deal.
Boy, Zoe, if I could remember this sense memory, I'd be the hit of my acting class.
- Bravo,Jimmy. - Thank you, Mr Lilly.
- Are you all right, Zoe? - Yeah.
You were very brave.
Lately, all these high-class New York hotels have been getting robbed.
I'm glad the crook dropped the package he stole from my father's...
safe deposit box, and I got it back.
Wow. Those crooks sure didn't know what they had.
I'd better tell Hector.
Hector! Hector, wake up! Hector!
- What? - There was a robbery downstairs!
- What? - Yeah.
- Are you all right? - Yes. Here, look.
They just took it out of my father's safety deposit box.
Look, it's a diamond, and there's a note.
"A Tear of Sharez for my tears when I heard your flute. Princess Soroya."
- Sharez? Where's that invitation we opened this morning? - In the garbage.
- What? - Threw it in the garbage. - Oh, gosh.
Come on. Come on, Hector.
- How'd you get that thing? - Those crooks dropped it.
- Vegas, drop-- Ahh! - Ahh! - Open your mouth.
- Drop it! - Zoe, just-- - I am!
- Pull it, pull it, pull it. - Wait! Got it! - Got it? Okay.
I hope we have all the pieces. I don't know.
- Yeah. - You think so? - Yeah.
Yeah, we-we got it all. It's all here.
- "Sheik Omar requests--" - "Sheek" Omar.
- It's pronounced "shake". - "Sheek" Omar.
Okay. "Sheik Omar requests the pleasure of the company of Mr Claudio Montez...
at dinner and a party to follow.
Princess Soroya will wear the famed Tears of Sharez earrings.
Black tie."
Well, black tie's no problem, but the earrings--
one earring, anyway, is gonna be a problem.
- How can she wear it if it's here? - I know.
Claudio's in big trouble, and it's not his fault.
I know what happened. She probably heard him play the flute, and then she took it off her ear and gave it to him.
- It happens all the time. - And the sheik must think...
that he's falling in love with his wife.
- Oh, no. - We gotta find this Princess Soroya.
Give her back the diamond. That's all.
Sheik Omar. Maybe Abu's heard of him.
Abu? Who's Abu? Abu who?
Abu's my new friend.
Hi, Abu? It's Zoe.
Fine. And you?
I hope it's not too late.
Say, Abu, do you know Sheik Omar?
"Shake" Omar.
Oh, he's your uncle.
Oh, he's the king!
So Princess Soroya is your aunt.
Abu? How would you like to have a party?
- Play with all your carrots and vegetables. - Vegetables?
- Sorry, Hector. - Hit me in the head with the hat. Abu?
- Yeah, like the bunny rabbit. - Rabbits? What's goin' on?
Oh! Your parents are out of town. Perfect!
Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!
It's Tom Cruise, and I'm wearing a tank top.
- Howdy,Jimmy. How's tricks? - Eh. Hey, Zoe, you think next time your mom has Joe Papp over for dinner...
she could use these for place mats?
- I think the plates might break. - Ohh.
- Say,Jimmy, I like you in that colour. - Thanks, Jimmy. - Something about a man in uniform.
Oh, and, ladies, these pinky drinkies are on Raoul.
- All right. - Strawberry daiquiris. - Who's coming to Abu's party?
Hey, the butler did it.
Zoe, I gotta talk to you for a minute.
- Zoe, your mother called and said-- - Yeah, I know.
My mother called to tell me that she's working on a new photojournal of India, and my mother is home.
- My mother is home. - Hello, Zoe darling.
So, is this what your father calls "sophisticated"?
Twelve-year-old girls drinking strawberry daiquiris and reading Paris Vogue.
- Mom, what are you doing here? - Oh, my God, we gotta go.
That's a warm welcome, and I'm your mother...
this is my bedroom, and these are my earrings.
- I'm sorry, Mrs Montez. - Sorry.
- Bye, Zoe. - That's my hat.
- Watch that. - Sorry. - Bye, Mrs Montez.
- I'm sorry, girls. I was not intending to be a snob. It was-- - So long, Zoe.
- You will forgive me, won't you, girls? - Bye, Zoe. - Bye, Mrs Montez.
- Bye, girls. - Move it, move it. Let's go. Move it.
- Hello. - Aw.
One, two, three--
Come on, Lundy. Hurry up. Let's go.
- Bye, Zoe. - See you later, Bridget.
Uh, sorry, Mom, but what's going on?
Zoe, I know this is-- this is difficult, but...
your father and I are trying a reconciliation.
What?
Oh, Zoe. Oh, sweetheart.
Most kids would be happy to hear that.
Oh, whatever's right.
- It's your clothes, I think. - My clothes?
Something's wrong with my clothes?
The shoulders are really big.
Oh, Zoe, would yo-- Please don't start on my shoulders.
A woman shouldn't have bigger shoulders than a man.
Besides, they slide around.
Face it, Mom, they're pass�.
We should have given me a fair warning you were coming...
so I could have reserved a room at the Plaza.
She's a nut.
See? And you're smoking again.
I tell you, Charlotte, you shouldn't be hanging out with those art friends of yours.
Lucy Montana and Aggie Zenobia? You're better than that, Mom.
You have real talent, and you'd see it if you'd quit competing with Claudio.
I'm the daughter, and you're the mother! Oh.
I'm the mother, and you're the daughter.
Right.
Daddy, oh, Daddy!
- I was worried about you. - How's my principessa?
I love your scarf. Can I wear it?
Of course.
Can I have it? Just kidding.
Look. You can use it for a poster.
Ah. Wonderful. Good idea.
It's a-- It's a work of art.
Look. I could use it for an album cover.
- What do you think? - Yeah. Sit down. Relax. You must be tired.
- Can I get you a drink? - Ah, sure.
Hey, Vegas. How are you, Vegas?
Thank you.
- My bambina. - How's everything?
Well...
in life there are always a few problems.
But, uh, things are not too bad.
We were all surprised you interrupted your tour.
- Well, you know how it is. - How is it?
Uh, I'm a little bit in hot water.
- You know what that means? - I can figure it out.
But nothing for you to worry about, my little signorina.
That's for me, Vegas.
Hello?
Yes.
Still?
- What is it? - Oh, my little charmer.
Did you know Mom was coming home too?
Yes, your mother.
Zoe, did I ever tell you how once playing the flute was banned by law?
A million times.
It was banned because the sound was so beautiful...
so seductive.
- It oughta be against the law. - It's true.